My Thoughts While Being a Short-term Missionary in the COVID-19 Pandemic
To be completely honest, I don’t usually feel like a missionary. Usually, life on the field feels just like living in another country only away from all of the typical support I am used to having. I am sure long-term workers in countries that are more closed off, or who are working in more “intense” fields feel differently than I do, but this is my experience.
For me, I am an English teacher. I am supposed to make new connections and engage a different group of people than my other teammates. But right off the bat I found that the vast majority of my students were grandfathers. This means that it is inappropriate to ask them for coffee and create ties into the community like was originally planned. Also, naturally, I am not an evangelist or apologist (and the Macedonians love to debate). I am more on the discipleship and hospitality side of the spectrum. But even this is hard when I can’t make connections or speak the language. This was made harder by the COVID-19 virus. The government has been taking a number of precautions (which is good), but I now have a harder time meeting with the few ladies that I made contacts with.
All of these external struggles amount to me feeling worthless and of no value to the team. That I am simply wasting the MATEO that God has given me, as well as the funds that God so graciously provided for me through many of you. I know that most of these fears and struggles are part of the spiritual warfare that many of the team face. But they still cut deep into my soul and I get overwhelmed. This has been the biggest struggle; the thought of being useless.
How does one stop feeling useless in a time where there is next to nothing to do? How do I reach out to the people around me when I can hardly communicate with them? These questions ring in my mind on a daily basis. And daily, I have to surrender them to Christ knowing that he has a plan that is far better than I could ever imagine.
Through my quiet time and a book study that I am doing with the ladies on the team, God has been emphasizing that he alone is sovereign. He controls EVERYTHING! He allowed the virus to turn into a pandemic, and he allows people to become ill. Yet he is also good! And everything that he does is for our good and for our continued sanctification. I really can’t say what he is doing with all of this, but I do know that it is for our good! And this has given me peace, both when I was unsure of when I would be leaving Macedonia, and when flight after flight was being cancelled. Yet here I still am; firmly planted in the palm of God’s hand. Not by anything I have done, but only because of what God has done for me. I could not have deserved this if I tried, and praise the Lord for that, because I am so unable to pursue Christ of my own will. Only by God’s grace am I able to say that I am safe. Whether I get sick on the return home, or whether something else happens. I know that I am completely safe, because no matter what happens I know where I am and where I am going.
This is the message that we are called to share. That God so loved the world (in spite of our failure), he sent his only son (the only one who could live the perfect life deserving of God’s love) to die in our place and carry our sins away, and give us the incredible gift of eternal life. That it was not of our doing that we are safe in his hands, but that it was because he chose us and pulled us from our death and into his life.
So I am not afraid of what might happen. Instead, I am aware and consistently look to see God’s goodness and grace in all circumstances. God is with us. And we have been given this great gift! So let us allow God to multiply it through us and share the love, hope, peace and security that we have in Christ alone.
A Note from the editor: I learned that Josie was looking for things to fill her timel. Since speaking to her, nearly two weeks ago, she has been graciously volunteering her time to help with our daily WLA Communications emails. A world away - and still one body, serving together!
To be completely honest, I don’t usually feel like a missionary. Usually, life on the field feels just like living in another country only away from all of the typical support I am used to having. I am sure long-term workers in countries that are more closed off, or who are working in more “intense” fields feel differently than I do, but this is my experience.
For me, I am an English teacher. I am supposed to make new connections and engage a different group of people than my other teammates. But right off the bat I found that the vast majority of my students were grandfathers. This means that it is inappropriate to ask them for coffee and create ties into the community like was originally planned. Also, naturally, I am not an evangelist or apologist (and the Macedonians love to debate). I am more on the discipleship and hospitality side of the spectrum. But even this is hard when I can’t make connections or speak the language. This was made harder by the COVID-19 virus. The government has been taking a number of precautions (which is good), but I now have a harder time meeting with the few ladies that I made contacts with.
All of these external struggles amount to me feeling worthless and of no value to the team. That I am simply wasting the MATEO that God has given me, as well as the funds that God so graciously provided for me through many of you. I know that most of these fears and struggles are part of the spiritual warfare that many of the team face. But they still cut deep into my soul and I get overwhelmed. This has been the biggest struggle; the thought of being useless.
How does one stop feeling useless in a time where there is next to nothing to do? How do I reach out to the people around me when I can hardly communicate with them? These questions ring in my mind on a daily basis. And daily, I have to surrender them to Christ knowing that he has a plan that is far better than I could ever imagine.
Through my quiet time and a book study that I am doing with the ladies on the team, God has been emphasizing that he alone is sovereign. He controls EVERYTHING! He allowed the virus to turn into a pandemic, and he allows people to become ill. Yet he is also good! And everything that he does is for our good and for our continued sanctification. I really can’t say what he is doing with all of this, but I do know that it is for our good! And this has given me peace, both when I was unsure of when I would be leaving Macedonia, and when flight after flight was being cancelled. Yet here I still am; firmly planted in the palm of God’s hand. Not by anything I have done, but only because of what God has done for me. I could not have deserved this if I tried, and praise the Lord for that, because I am so unable to pursue Christ of my own will. Only by God’s grace am I able to say that I am safe. Whether I get sick on the return home, or whether something else happens. I know that I am completely safe, because no matter what happens I know where I am and where I am going.
This is the message that we are called to share. That God so loved the world (in spite of our failure), he sent his only son (the only one who could live the perfect life deserving of God’s love) to die in our place and carry our sins away, and give us the incredible gift of eternal life. That it was not of our doing that we are safe in his hands, but that it was because he chose us and pulled us from our death and into his life.
So I am not afraid of what might happen. Instead, I am aware and consistently look to see God’s goodness and grace in all circumstances. God is with us. And we have been given this great gift! So let us allow God to multiply it through us and share the love, hope, peace and security that we have in Christ alone.
A Note from the editor: I learned that Josie was looking for things to fill her timel. Since speaking to her, nearly two weeks ago, she has been graciously volunteering her time to help with our daily WLA Communications emails. A world away - and still one body, serving together!
Your honesty of external struggles grew into an overwhelming evangelized love of God message. Hallelujah
Keeping the faith, in Christ alone we put our trust.
Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers Josie,
Loving you, Your sister in the Lord.
P.S. Coping can sometimes just be kindness, it has no language barriers.